The Egocentric Jackass

I met a dude, and we agreed to go out for coffee. He suggested that we meet at a cafe at 6:30. I was familiar with the place and knew it closed at 7:00. He tells me that he knows, and that it was intentional. He tells me that everything he has read about blind dates suggests a 30 minute meeting, as it provides a "natural assessment point." WHO READS ABOUT THIS STUFF? I ask what happens if one of us is running late, or can't find parking...do we just not meet? Do we conduct our 30 minute interview on the sidewalk? He unhappily offered to meet me at a tavern a few blocks away, that serves nothing but meat on bread and beer (I'm a vegetarian and a non-beer drinker). He tells me that I should not complain, as beer is vegetarian, and tells me that if I am uncomfortable at cafes and bars, we won't hit it off. I tell him I'm perfectly comfortable in either, but not when they're closing or when they don't serve anything I want to eat or drink. Finally, we decide to meet at Starbucks. 

The day before our now dreaded date, I asked him if I should have dinner beforehand, or if he was planning on us eating after coffee. He tells me that dinner dates are a terrible idea for first dates, and that we'd only be meeting for coffee. Dinners are for acquaintances and friends of friends, but not dates (so say his resource materials?). He then says that he sees what is happening, and that I obviously do not want to go on our date. He says that I have too many expectations, and that the whole point of first dates is meeting without expectations. He says, "I do understand that my awesomeness has increased as of late, and that this naturally can be intimidating to some. Personally, though, I would have no problem meeting another awesome person. I would consider it a plus." 
I'm going to repeat that first part. I do understand that my awesomeness has increased as of late. WHO SAYS THINGS LIKE THAT?!


He reprimanded me for changing his plans, rather than "thanking him for providing an exciting venue," and said a date was pointless if I didn't trust his judgment. He called me argumentative and passive aggressive. Apparently, I was the one who was making myself uncomfortable, and he was an innocent bystander to my self-destruction. He called me needy and obnoxious, and said I was "truly crazy." He told me that he understood why I was single, and said that I was going to be alone for a very long time. He said that "dating him was a privilege" and "not one I would ever be offered again."


He ended our conversation with: "The point is, you have wasted my time talking to you. Your time isn't worth anything. Mine is precious." 


The moral of the story, ladies, is that we should not speak our minds, particularly when it means questioning the authority of a man. 
...Either that, or we shouldn't date pretentious assholes.